queen

crucialcrown @ 2007-05-06T16:51:00

2007-05-06T23:58:06Z

my god, i can't believe life sometimes.
yeah.. my purse got stolen and shit, but what amazes me even more is that there was someone kind enough to pull over on malibu canyon, and pick up all my shit that was scattered around the road and drive all the way to my work to return it to me. of course i had to call in sick today considering im dying with body aches, fever, etc.
i just wish i could've been there to thank the guy who did this for me, because i know he will never understand how much this truly means to me. although im some what glad i wasn't there cos i know i would've broken down like the little baby i am and filled my work with tears. but whatever.

luckily my wallet and all my makeup was still in there, although i wasn't expecting to find my digital camera or my paycheck.. i'd rather have some things rather than nothing at all.
and just to think of all the fucking streets i drove down and trash cans i looked in to find my purse, and it all came back to me.
GOD DAMN, this shit makes me feel like i should be at church praying for whatever it is they pray about.

goddddddddd, the world works out in such mysterious ways.
i want to marry someone who has a good heart like that guy, i just cant explain how much it means to me.

i know you'll never read this, but THANK YOU SO MUCH.. FUCK!

winter

2006-12-27T00:35:06Z

this weather makes me feel sad and alone, i hate it.
christmas was good though. i was satisfied with everything i got from everyone.
sterling got me shoes, wallet, scarf, and some real cute pants. i love him for actually shopping for me.
got all my goods from my family too. got $2,700 in checks. got my paycheck comin up in a day thats got $550 with my name all over it.
feels good to have money in the bank.

all day i've felt like shit. been in sterlings computer room all day cos he's got people fixing his room. although i have the kitty with me, i still feel more alone than ever. i just want sterling to be off work, and for him to hold me til i die.
i dont like this feeeeling.

family

2006-12-04T18:23:17Z

last night couldn't have been more awkward if i paid it to be.
went to sterlings step moms house for dinner. got there to realize it was a fucking family reunion. all of sterlings family on his dads side was there, and many more people i didn't catch their names. it was really weird, but at the same time i guess it was alright. meeting the people who taught my boyfriend how to ride a bike.. hahaha
ooooh yes, family reunions.. CAN'T WAIT!

on tha grind

2006-12-03T21:37:35Z

so im taking my day off today. nothing but sitting in my pajamas, aka sterlings boxers and shirt, being lazy talking to mike b over aim and searching for music.
i randomly came up on 'Finch: Stay with me' which brings baq too many awkward memories, and 'cute without the E' and 'Without you Here' soooo weird.

anyways, i need to find someone other than sterling to come shopping with me. tis the season to blow all my money on my boyfriend and friends considering i finally have money in tha bank. fyi, daddy called me today and told me hes findin some sw33t c@Rz. sterling got me an auto trader yesterday and i spent time lookin, but nothin i want. supposidly my uncle is going to hook somethin up for me, but with my family.. you can never trust what the fuck they say.
ahh i feel like i havent been home in weeks. too many sleepovers with sterling and his kitty, kind of sucks me in.
work has been a bitch lately, i cant hang with those 19 yr old girls who act like they still go to middle school, and still gossip about what people are wearin these days. not my fun, leave it at the door.

as for me, shower and shopping today.
hopefully.

crucialcrown @ 2006-11-27T11:46:00

2006-11-27T19:46:53Z

wednesday was our fourteen month anniversary. we went to this place called "UWink" and it was crazy. there's computers on every table, and you order your food yourself, and drinks, and everything. they have games on that shit too, it was so siq. i loved every second of it.

over thanksgiving i went camping with my family.
sterling and samurai came up friday morning, keepin my excited. had huuuuge fires, huge fireworks that seemed to never end, huge amounts of alcohol, and never forget the peanut oil. shit was hilarious, we put hot coals under our chairs to keep our ass from freezing, watching old guys falling on the ground from breakin a chair and he never seemed to forget about it. and the campground whore who was on everyones nutz, gettin walked to her trailer by some dude.. as if she didnt get railed. woke up early and booked it home.

went and saw Katt Williams on saturday night, didnt get home til 3:30am and had work the next morning. siqest shit ever

last night me and sterling went out to dinner at flemings.
had one of those good meal, good conversation, good everything kind-of night. came home and waited for Dexter to come on, and then cuddled and fell asleep.
then this morning i wake up to sterling asking me whats wrong.. just to realize i had the worst dream of my life, and was balling crying in my dream, and woke up feeling like someone threw a dead body on my heart.

now i have the next two days off work.

crucialcrown @ 2006-11-04T19:48:00

2006-11-05T03:48:19Z

things have been really good lately.
i love my job, and making $9.50 and hour only makes it better. my boss' love me, and im already in on all the gossip and drama about my co-workers, hah love it. gettin on everyone's good side and at the same time working my ass off. feels good to be employed.
last night me and sterling went and got coffee at the 'new' starbucks. its so nice inside, so we chatted for a while cos they never told us our drinks were ready. went to his house, drank our coffee in the backyard and talked some more. then we seperated rooms so he could finish an essay, and i ended up falling asleep by the time he was done. its been like a 3-day cuddle fest for me, and im not complaining at alll.

woke up, got lunch, stopped by nathans tattoo for a hot minute then went to the pool hall. so proud i won a game against sterling since 'he is the best at pool' ever since we went to his little brothers house for an all-day pool/darts/dance dance revolution/wheel of fortune/hacky sack day, which made me feel like i was 8yrs old again.
came back to his house and started being mommy ash, and cleaning his room, and doing his laundry, and folding his clothes etc. etc. even though i enjoy doin it.
makes me happy to know im goin to be a great wife one day, hahahahhahahahaha. woooow.

im a busy girl, with a lot on my plate, and a person to love.
no complainin' here.

crucialcrown @ 2006-10-26T18:09:00

2006-10-27T01:11:29Z

family portrait

crucialcrown @ 2006-10-25T17:38:00

2006-10-26T01:02:50Z

so lately i've been trying to take my time, and use it to something other than the internet.
today was my first actual day of work. im in training aka acting as someones shadow for four hours of my life, running around in heelz that have permanently fucked my feet, not too fuckin fun, especially considering i will be in training for the next 5 shifts. fuck it. im makin $9.50 and hour and im tryin my hardest to grow a liking to my job, and not come up with as many complaints as i can think of. although there really is nothing cool about my job at all. whatever though

i guess it'll be nice to finally be bringin home paychecks, and buyin myself some goods. im keepin my fingers crossed.

crucialcrown @ 2006-10-22T18:31:00

2006-10-23T01:40:48Z

last night was ridiculous.

between the jack daniels, bud light, and six foot bong i was done with. and all the shit that was said.. haha

you wish

G.K.D

2006-10-10T22:22:59Z

there's no need in me trying to even explain the meaning of this picture.

it just is what it is.

sa-ki-bomb!

2006-10-06T03:12:16Z

sterlings benihana birthday dinner.

by this time, i was already too hammered from saki bombing that i barely remember taking this.
its like a family portrait.

oh and sterling stole the birthday buddah, and shoved it in MY purse.
haha

crucialcrown @ 2006-10-01T17:01:00

2006-10-02T00:15:54Z

this weekend was fuckin great. sterlings birthday celebration lasted two very long nights, with all sorts of random shit in between.
friday we got everyone to go saki bombing, chilled out went to some party where you couldn't move. fights broke out, sterling got blood on his fre$h white tee. had a run in with the cops at 7-11, went to some random bitches house and hid shit in her oven, and cabinets. lighting a fat box of matches on fire thanx to sterling and his obsession for fire. went home and cuddled and passed out.
saturday was his actual birthday night. so we went to benihana for dinner, like alwayz, and i was hammered before our food was even done. too much saki bombing, everyone could tell i was "too drunk" as i laughed and tried to walk straight. had some random conversation with this bitch in the bathroom about her blind date.. and her plans to go fuck her ex boyfriend afterwards. almost started a brawl with the black folks sitting at the table across from us. went to sean beazy's after and was too busy downing jack&coke before i realized i should stop drinking. we made jokes on the bar with a sharpie, and drew dicks and assholes and everything else you could imagine. lost my phone, felt like passsing out the rest of the night. then went to dougie fre$h's house and got a sac and got way too high. went home around 5am, and it prolly took me about a whole half a second to pass out.
me and stingy didnt wake up til like 2, wacthed flavor of love, cuddled, cleaned his room up, watched the rain, and went outside to try and find a rainbow.. but there wasn't one. it was a fucking great weekend.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABY, I LOVE YOUUU.

you mean everything to me.

one year ann.

2006-09-23T18:38:20Z

so yesterday was me and sterlings one year, although it feels so much longer than that. we slept in late, and ended up not going to six flagz. had lunch and were lazy together all day. went out to malibu to Dukes for dinner. our table was right by the window so the ocean was literally 3 feet away from us, and the waves were crashing up against the rocks and it was just so fuckin pretty. got the biggest plate of nachos ive ever seen in my life and finished our dinner. we were going to see jackass 2, but ended up going over to tony's and i got wasted. between the corona, vodka, and jack daniels i was done for.
came back to sterlings tired as hell, and he gave me my gift. he's just so cute like that i love it.

being with someone for over a year for the first time ever feels truly amazing. and there's no one id rather be with, or feel as comfortable with, then you.

i love you so much there aren't even words to explain.
i live for you and me
and you are my absolute everything, xo.

ps. i finally got a job. no interview bullshit thank god. ill be working at a palates studio starting off at 8$ an hour, and supposidly you get phat raises in the matter of 2 months if you do your shit right. other than that you sit there listening to music, answering phones, and sitting online.
dream job. haha oh fuck.

out of all the people, you wanted me the most.

2006-09-19T03:13:36Z

Run
Running all the time
Running to the future
With you right by my side

Me
I'm the one you chose
Out of all the people
You wanted me the most.
and i'm so sorry that i've fallen
Help me up lets keep on running
Don't let me fall out of love

Running, running
As fast as we can
I really hope we make it
do you think we'll make it..

We're running
Keep holding my hand
it's so we don't get separated

Be
Be the one i need
Be the one i trust most
Don't stop inspiring me.
Sometimes it's hard to keep on running
We work so much to keep it going
Don't make me want to give up

Running, running
As fast as we can
I really hope we make it
do you think we'll make it..

We're running
Keep holding my hand
so we don't get separated

crucialcrown @ 2006-09-02T16:19:00

2006-09-02T23:19:36Z

there's no hope for something that's hopeless.
eat that.

crucialcrown @ 2006-08-22T17:44:00

2006-08-23T00:52:19Z

today has been nothing but stressful.
not only did i drive all the way out to santa clarita to meet sterlings dad for the first time ever, with shaking hands and nervous smiles. but i was inches away from smashing into the back of someones car on my way to school this morning when the freeway decided to take 80mph to 0mph. DEAD STOP.
rushed back from santa clarita to drop sterling off at his car, and to pick my mom up in thousand oaks.
just so happens shes already home, so i almost killed myself several times, for no damn reason.
NOWWW i made plans with my sister and her boyfriend earlier for me and sterling to go to malibu with them for dinner, so ive been rushing all day trying to meet up with them, now i find out they're going to the one place in malibu i dont like. not to mention today is sterling and my 11 months, so dinner is gonna be a piece of shit.
and there goes third street after dinner.
im just so fucking stressed outtt, and my back has knots up and down.

now im waiting for sterling to come pick me up from my house, so we can go to the apple store so he can get his new computer, and then rush to malibu for a pointless and unsatisfying dinner.

whatever. happy 11 months lover.
we've made it so far, yet it seemed so short.
i love you xo

crucialcrown @ 2006-07-01T21:11:00

2006-07-02T04:12:25Z

went down to alvarado st. today and finally got our 21 ID.
now sterling and i will be hittin up the barz non stopp.
join us.

and people who wanna hate me, shouldn't fuckin lurk me.
or write a fuckin novel about me.
thanx fagz

crucialcrown @ 2006-06-26T17:04:00

2006-06-27T00:05:32Z

it's funny how hard you try. but sad at the same time.

crucialcrown @ 2006-06-24T16:01:00

2006-06-24T23:06:15Z

mmm. today was good.
woke up sterling way too early and went to the beach.
went to a prime beach where you can drink and smoke, no problem.
restaraunt on the beach, tables in the sand.
had lunch, took walks on the beach, sterling caught a crab, dug a fat hole in the sand with the built in rock stairs leading into it. add water and it'd be considered a hot tub.
had the whole umbrella/chairs/blanket/towels deal.
the whole 9 yards. &parking was only 3$
so sweeeet

crucialcrown @ 2006-06-22T21:49:00

2006-06-23T04:49:21Z

congrats on graduating baby, and happy 9 months.
i liked being your sober driver and driving your truck.
letttttts do it againnnn

xo

crucialcrown @ 2006-06-12T23:19:00

2006-06-13T06:22:37Z

VEGAS WAS FUCKING AMAZING. AND THERE'S NO ONE I WOULD HAVE RATHER OF BEEN WITH THEN MY BABY, YOU KNOW.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. OH FUCK, MY STOMACH HURTS FROM LAUGHING SO HARD.
HOW SAD TO GO SO OUTTA YOUR WAY.

crucialcrown @ 2006-06-08T16:26:00

2006-06-08T23:29:20Z

i've never been more excited to go on a little vaca. and even better, we're flying. sterling and i are leaving tomorrow night for vegas.. not coming back until monday. time to get my tan on and my drank on. dont bother calling me, cos ill prolly be too trashed to even know where my phone is.

went and got some sweet shoes today, considering i havent bought myself anything in 23456789 years.
im out of school already too. so hello summer, we're going to be very close friends this year.

xo

crucialcrown @ 2006-06-06T23:21:00

2006-06-07T06:22:48Z

went and saw the omen today with sterling, josh and tony. that shit was creepy as fuck, and i prolly fractured sterlings hand from squeezing so hard. ima baby

ps. this is for you cos you said it was your favorite xo

crucialcrown @ 2006-06-02T18:49:00

2006-06-03T02:06:44Z

today i went with my lover for lunch. and then layed in bed watching mr&mrs smith eating a whole thing of ben&jerrys 'magic brownie' and then took a cat nap.
relaxing shit.

ps. summer is fucking sweet.

crucialcrown @ 2006-05-31T10:37:00

2006-05-31T17:39:50Z

summer nights are getting better and better.
last night sterling came over and we did the whole bbq thing.
then broke into my pool and went in tha jacuzzi til we were prunes.
i smiled and laughed a lot, myabe it's just cos you were there. xo